I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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