Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
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She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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