Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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