My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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