yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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