fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize