i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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