He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize