I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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