Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize