STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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