Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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