I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize