P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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