I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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