I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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