my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize