Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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