remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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