Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize