Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize