You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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