break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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