Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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