I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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