grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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