he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize