I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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