It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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