There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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