I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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