idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize