if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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