You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Will exercising make me less horny?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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