Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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