He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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