I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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