i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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