WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
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i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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