I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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