i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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