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yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
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