Capitaan dildo arrescate!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize