apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize