$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My cat gives me a boner
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize