I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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