i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize