Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize