i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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