I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just google imaged poop.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize